Traveling...

Friends,

I will be off-line for the next few days as I attend the National Religious Vocation Conference in Cleveland, OH. You can look for me again on November 9th.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

Requiem eternum...

Tonight, in our Evening Prayer, we will read the names of every sister in our community who has gone to glory. It is the Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed also known as All Souls Day. It’s a day set aside by the Church to pray for all those who have gone before us. We pray for them because we believe in the infinite mercy of God.

All souls… That’s every created soul since the beginning of the world! Those who died before Jesus Christ walked the earth and those born after the salvific moment of his resurrection are held in the prayers of the universal Church. The implied theology is powerful. Our prayers for the dead are effective. How? In what way? We can’t quite say because the portal to eternal life is not yet open to us. But the mere fact that we have the capacity to intercede for one another – even after death – speaks of the power of love and the expansive heart of our God. In the gospel today the Lord Jesus makes us a promise. “I will not reject anyone who comes to me (John 6:37)…” We must take him at his word and trust that our loved ones are safe in his arms.

Blessings and love to you all…
- Sister Vicki

Autumn Came While I Was Sleeping...

Autumn came while I was sleeping –
ochre and topaz blaze outside my window.
It was my mother’s favorite season,
and so it became mine.

Funny creatures, children –
so filled with love-longing
that we give up our native aesthetic
to wrap ourselves in the heart of the other.

It’s a confusing day here in the south.
The leaves, in their dying, a beauty beyond compare,
yet, the summer heat continues.
It will be eighty degrees again today.

The dissonance is palpable,
makes we wonder if the swelling colors are some cosmic illusion
or if God pushed the button too soon.

Autumn was autumn in New Jersey.
Corduroys and a plaid wool jacket
kept me warm

as I worked the tiny rake in our backyard.

She would watch us from the kitchen window
steamy with heat from the stove.
I can see her smile as we jumped into crunchy piles.

I bless God for the gift of memory.
Eyes closed, I am five again,
bundled up and swimming in a sea of color
beneath the gaze of love.

Vicki Ix, OSB
October 27, 2010

Canonical Visitation...

We are being “visited.” Every six years each monastery in our Federation is visited by two Benedictine sisters charged with observing our common life. We are blessed to have Sister Lynne Marie McKenzie and Sister Patricia Crowley as our special guests this weekend. Sister Lynn Marie is from Sacred Heart Monastery, Cullman, AL. She is First Councilor of the Federation. Sister Patricia hails from St. Scholastica Monastery, Chicago, IL. She is serving her community as prioress.

Canonical Visitation is a blessing on a house because it requires the community to spend the better part of a year “looking in the mirror.” We prepare by self-evaluation and revisiting our core documents – philosophy, vision statement, monastery norms, etc. We produce a document – roughly 200 pages in length – that is sent to the Visitators one month in advance of their arrival. Then, when the sisters finally arrive, we greet them with a special Evening Prayer and a feast. (Last night was beautiful!)

Today, the official work begins for our guests. Tours – inside and out – come first. Then, for the next two days, they will meet with the entire community in small groups. By Saturday evening they will write their report which will be delivered first to the prioress and then to the community on Sunday afternoon. It’s a whirlwind four-days for our Visitators, but this intense immersion is necessary so that the Spirit can speak through their insights. They will commend us for certain strengths and make recommendations that will yield fruit in our future. It is a graced time for us.

In the first reading this morning, St. Paul speaks to the faithful in Ephesus, and, as grace would have it, summarizes the message of canonical visitation. “Live in a manner worthy of the call you have received.” I have no fears for us in this process only the expectation of blessing. But, as always, we are grateful for your prayers.

Blessings and love to you all…
- Sister Vicki

Being with Macrina...

God uses people. Not in the way people use people – manipulative efforts made to bend another to our will. God uses people in a good way – and on a regular business – for the building of the kingdom. This weekend we had the gift of being with Macrina Wiederkehr. God uses Macrina – often and with wonderful results. A day in her company means poetry, prayer and song. A day with Macrina means new vision and a graced perspective on the holiness of just being. Sister has written seven books, copious poems and prayers. She has even collaborated with a gifted composer who set her words to music. But being with Macrina is an experience. When God uses people, something of the Mystery shines through. Held together in the present moment, God is found there – ever-ready to bless us. We are richer for her having visited our tent.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

On Faith and Solitaire...

I play “Spider Solitaire” backwards. When the game deals out the cards, I click on the spare pile until all eight decks are fanned out. Then I try to put them back together. I’ve won 14 games in two years. That’s 1% of the 826 games played. I don’t know why I play backwards except that it’s harder so the wins are just so satisfying! When I start the game it’s very relaxing. Sliding those cards into their proper places feels like an easy task. King, Queen, Jack, ten…it’s so simple and logical. Five on the six, ace on the two…this is so gratifying! Can’t put the seven anywhere, the games going to end any minute…even my failures make sense. Oh, this is working! Three decks, four decks…nope - just dealt a bad hand.

I’ve always played in between tasks to clear my brain, but I’ve been playing more in recent months. I’ve been struggling with all the things on my “To Do” list. Yet, I hear myself thinking, just one more game. I’ve been wondering why I want to play more just when I have so much more to accomplish. Stress relief? Sure. But I think there’s more to it. Life doesn’t make sense. The mystery of suffering has been very present to us since the accident. There are no logical reasons for tragedy. And asking “why” doesn’t really get me very far. It takes far too much energy and brings no return. I prefer to live beyond the question and focus on the One who will be with me no matter what happens. Our sisters were dealt a bad hand. No reason. No explanation. Bad things just happen in our earthly journey. But God has picked up the pieces – comforted us and held us in our grief. God has carried our sisters into a place of healing and peace. This God who suffers with us – this is the only thing that is beyond a doubt. And I am so grateful for the gift of faith – this lens through which even sorrow can be transformed. In today’s gospel Jesus says this very thing to one of the ten lepers – “Go on now. You faith has saved you.”

We are going on now. There are little signs of normal reappearing in our personal lives. Life after the accident is new, though. We know things now that we didn’t know before. Our priorities have shifted. We know the gift of the present moment and the healing power of prayer. Simple things bring greater joy and things on that “To Do” list will still be there tomorrow. I’m not sure why “Spider Solitaire” has been part of my recovery from all this. (I don’t think I’m headed for a 12-Step group, but I may have to give it up for Lent!) There is this sweet moment in the game when I know it’s going to work – when six or seven decks have been laid out nice and neat. That is the moment – not the end where the screen lights up with fireworks to celebrate my brilliance. That moment right before the victory when I’m certain things will all work out – I think that’s what I love so much. I think that is exactly where we are as a community. Our faith has saved us.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

The "better part"...

Today we hear the gospel story of Martha and Mary - a moment of domestic reality lodged in the Good News. I usually focus on Martha because, truth be told, the woman is cooking. This morning at our shared lectio, I was struck by Mary's silent vigil at Jesus' feet. - by her wordless refusal to budge from His company. I came to the monastery to sit at His feet - to be in His presence all the time - to listen to Him speak in my heart. For me, monastic life is the "better part." Before I entered I felt Him in our house and heard Him in our times of silence. This morning I got a wonderful reminder. No matter how busy I must be or what's been asked of me by community, the "better part" will never be taken from me. It is who I am. It is a gift given at profession - a promise of contemplative joy. I am a woman who sits and listens at His feet -no matter where I am or what I'm doing in His service. Abbot Brendan Freeman, OCSO,writes: "The awareness of the mystery of our vocation unfolds slowly, and it is only after many years of monastic living that we realize communication with each other happens through silence." [Come and See: The Monastic Way for Today The Liturgical Press, Collegeville, MN] I want to be the kind of monastic who can be God's worker bee and, at the same time, hold fast to my place at the Lord's feet. Freeman continues, "Attentiveness of heart leads to mindfulness of God." I never want to forget whom I am really serving - whose voice is guiding my days. I am so grateful for the gift of monastic life. Slowly, over time, I am waking up. The Mystery is all around me and within me. I will not budge from His feet. It is too wonderful a place.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki