Monastics On A Journey...: December 14, 2008

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tis' the season...

I woke up feeling a bit down this morning. It occurred to me that it doesn’t really matter why or if it makes sense. It’s just a feeling. I don’t expect it to last long. Like weather patterns, my feelings usually move through rather easily. I tend to give them a wide berth – allow them to be in spite of what I’d rather be feeling. Most of the time my feelings give me important information – give me clues to what’s going on deep within. So much of our inner life is unconscious or put to the side for “more important things.” When we squash a feeling we don’t want to have, it just comes back to the surface with greater gusto. So, I’ve learned to reverence my feelings and give them space to bring their wisdom.

Many people have a hard time during the holidays. Remember that Elvis song, “Blue Christmas”? I know of some churches that actually have a blue Christmas tree for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one or enduring a clinical or situational depression. I think it’s helpful when the Church can tangibly acknowledge pain and suffering – especially the kind that’s hard to see.

Oddly enough, I feel my unexplained mood is perfectly compatible with Christian hope and the joy of this holy season. Hope and real joy run deep in us. It’s the stuff we do that defies the circumstance of our days - a smile given because it’s needed, a kind word when we feel a bit empty, the food, clothing and toys we gather for the poor in spite of the pressures of the season. Christmas will come in our hearts if we accept that there is only one gift worth giving – our love. So, to all of you feeling a bit blue today, we can be blue together, you and I. And GOD, who so loved the world, will be with us as we await the Light who pierces every darkness.

Monday, December 15, 2008

It's the little things...

This morning I learned how to open up a tin of black shoe polish. It was an absolute revelation! Have you ever tried to pry one of those things open? First, there are no helpful hints on the can. They give plenty of instruction on how to rub the stuff into your shoes, but no help, whatsoever, if you want to open the tin first. I probably should say that I have polished my shoes before – many times, in fact in the last 40 years. Our Catholic school uniforms included a pair of saddle shoes that had to be polished for Church on Friday morning. The polish we used back then came in a plastic bottle. It had a little sponge top. When you squeezed the bottle, the black or white would seep through the applicator. It was so easy and kind of fun, truth be told. I wasn’t exactly neat about it, but I got the job done. That said I feel better sharing my joy at this new discovery. I bought the good stuff in the tin because it looked serious. I go through a pair of black shoes every year or so. I try to make them last as best I can. So, in an effort to be a better steward of the things entrusted to me, I decided to by the KIWI can. Talk about frustrating… There’s this little metal thing on the edge. It looks like a miniature bottle opener (for ®Barbie & Ken.) I had no idea it could spin! When the lid shifted a fraction, I knew I had discovered the secret. A small triumph in design, the little metal thing creates leverage. How brilliant!

Why am I writing a blog about a tin of shoe polish? I guess it struck me that at 45 there are so many little mysteries I haven’t unraveled. (There are, as you might imagine, some not-so-little mysteries I’m working on, too.) I guess, at midlife, the moments of wonder have become increasingly particular and attached to rather mundane endeavors. As silly and small as these new learnings are, I seem to get such a charge from them. It’s as if the world has become more miraculous or my time in it has become more precious. Either way, I feel drawn to the mysteries – big and small. Maybe, it’s the small victories in life that make a day so sweet.