Canonical Visitation...

We are being “visited.” Every six years each monastery in our Federation is visited by two Benedictine sisters charged with observing our common life. We are blessed to have Sister Lynne Marie McKenzie and Sister Patricia Crowley as our special guests this weekend. Sister Lynn Marie is from Sacred Heart Monastery, Cullman, AL. She is First Councilor of the Federation. Sister Patricia hails from St. Scholastica Monastery, Chicago, IL. She is serving her community as prioress.

Canonical Visitation is a blessing on a house because it requires the community to spend the better part of a year “looking in the mirror.” We prepare by self-evaluation and revisiting our core documents – philosophy, vision statement, monastery norms, etc. We produce a document – roughly 200 pages in length – that is sent to the Visitators one month in advance of their arrival. Then, when the sisters finally arrive, we greet them with a special Evening Prayer and a feast. (Last night was beautiful!)

Today, the official work begins for our guests. Tours – inside and out – come first. Then, for the next two days, they will meet with the entire community in small groups. By Saturday evening they will write their report which will be delivered first to the prioress and then to the community on Sunday afternoon. It’s a whirlwind four-days for our Visitators, but this intense immersion is necessary so that the Spirit can speak through their insights. They will commend us for certain strengths and make recommendations that will yield fruit in our future. It is a graced time for us.

In the first reading this morning, St. Paul speaks to the faithful in Ephesus, and, as grace would have it, summarizes the message of canonical visitation. “Live in a manner worthy of the call you have received.” I have no fears for us in this process only the expectation of blessing. But, as always, we are grateful for your prayers.

Blessings and love to you all…
- Sister Vicki

Being with Macrina...

God uses people. Not in the way people use people – manipulative efforts made to bend another to our will. God uses people in a good way – and on a regular business – for the building of the kingdom. This weekend we had the gift of being with Macrina Wiederkehr. God uses Macrina – often and with wonderful results. A day in her company means poetry, prayer and song. A day with Macrina means new vision and a graced perspective on the holiness of just being. Sister has written seven books, copious poems and prayers. She has even collaborated with a gifted composer who set her words to music. But being with Macrina is an experience. When God uses people, something of the Mystery shines through. Held together in the present moment, God is found there – ever-ready to bless us. We are richer for her having visited our tent.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

On Faith and Solitaire...

I play “Spider Solitaire” backwards. When the game deals out the cards, I click on the spare pile until all eight decks are fanned out. Then I try to put them back together. I’ve won 14 games in two years. That’s 1% of the 826 games played. I don’t know why I play backwards except that it’s harder so the wins are just so satisfying! When I start the game it’s very relaxing. Sliding those cards into their proper places feels like an easy task. King, Queen, Jack, ten…it’s so simple and logical. Five on the six, ace on the two…this is so gratifying! Can’t put the seven anywhere, the games going to end any minute…even my failures make sense. Oh, this is working! Three decks, four decks…nope - just dealt a bad hand.

I’ve always played in between tasks to clear my brain, but I’ve been playing more in recent months. I’ve been struggling with all the things on my “To Do” list. Yet, I hear myself thinking, just one more game. I’ve been wondering why I want to play more just when I have so much more to accomplish. Stress relief? Sure. But I think there’s more to it. Life doesn’t make sense. The mystery of suffering has been very present to us since the accident. There are no logical reasons for tragedy. And asking “why” doesn’t really get me very far. It takes far too much energy and brings no return. I prefer to live beyond the question and focus on the One who will be with me no matter what happens. Our sisters were dealt a bad hand. No reason. No explanation. Bad things just happen in our earthly journey. But God has picked up the pieces – comforted us and held us in our grief. God has carried our sisters into a place of healing and peace. This God who suffers with us – this is the only thing that is beyond a doubt. And I am so grateful for the gift of faith – this lens through which even sorrow can be transformed. In today’s gospel Jesus says this very thing to one of the ten lepers – “Go on now. You faith has saved you.”

We are going on now. There are little signs of normal reappearing in our personal lives. Life after the accident is new, though. We know things now that we didn’t know before. Our priorities have shifted. We know the gift of the present moment and the healing power of prayer. Simple things bring greater joy and things on that “To Do” list will still be there tomorrow. I’m not sure why “Spider Solitaire” has been part of my recovery from all this. (I don’t think I’m headed for a 12-Step group, but I may have to give it up for Lent!) There is this sweet moment in the game when I know it’s going to work – when six or seven decks have been laid out nice and neat. That is the moment – not the end where the screen lights up with fireworks to celebrate my brilliance. That moment right before the victory when I’m certain things will all work out – I think that’s what I love so much. I think that is exactly where we are as a community. Our faith has saved us.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

The "better part"...

Today we hear the gospel story of Martha and Mary - a moment of domestic reality lodged in the Good News. I usually focus on Martha because, truth be told, the woman is cooking. This morning at our shared lectio, I was struck by Mary's silent vigil at Jesus' feet. - by her wordless refusal to budge from His company. I came to the monastery to sit at His feet - to be in His presence all the time - to listen to Him speak in my heart. For me, monastic life is the "better part." Before I entered I felt Him in our house and heard Him in our times of silence. This morning I got a wonderful reminder. No matter how busy I must be or what's been asked of me by community, the "better part" will never be taken from me. It is who I am. It is a gift given at profession - a promise of contemplative joy. I am a woman who sits and listens at His feet -no matter where I am or what I'm doing in His service. Abbot Brendan Freeman, OCSO,writes: "The awareness of the mystery of our vocation unfolds slowly, and it is only after many years of monastic living that we realize communication with each other happens through silence." [Come and See: The Monastic Way for Today The Liturgical Press, Collegeville, MN] I want to be the kind of monastic who can be God's worker bee and, at the same time, hold fast to my place at the Lord's feet. Freeman continues, "Attentiveness of heart leads to mindfulness of God." I never want to forget whom I am really serving - whose voice is guiding my days. I am so grateful for the gift of monastic life. Slowly, over time, I am waking up. The Mystery is all around me and within me. I will not budge from His feet. It is too wonderful a place.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

In this together...

In my new office on the second floor of the convent, I have seven photographs lined up on the desk. Each wood frame holds a woman who has entered the monastery in the last six years and who remains in Initial Formation. These 4x6 frames have an order. They are arranged according to monastic rank. Although “rank” sounds military, it is not about personal authority or pay grade. For Saint Benedict rank indicated only one thing – the moment an individual came to the monastery. For us that moment is marked by the entrance rite. In his world people were divided by social class, wealth or political power. Benedict wanted to remove all those distinctions and set God-seekers on equal footing. Today, as in his day, we reverence one who came to the life before we did – knowing that it is only time in the monastery that molds and shapes the soul.

These seven photos are lined up from the first – Sister Kathleen – to the most recent – Rosa Farrar, a new postulant. But, because they are so close together, when one photo gets nudged, several fall down at the same time. I am constantly moving a pile of “stuff” and knocking someone over. Then, the “domino” effect takes over and several women collapse. This has become a treasured moment for reflection. As I set them all back up in their proper order, I remember how close we are to one another on the journey. I think about their futures linked together in the monastery and of how much they will need each other as the years pass. I pray for our women in formation. I ask GOD to help them grow in love for one another. I pray that they will pick each other up when they fall down and forgive one another’s weaknesses. I pray that they will come to cherish the Christ who abides within and among them. Then, I pray for Sister Andrea and Sister Doris who walk with our women in formation. Last but not least, I pray for myself. I ask for the grace to love each woman “as is” and love them enough to encourage them to keep becoming. It is our way – an ancient way. May Benedict and Scholastica protect and strengthen their daughters along the narrow road that leads to salvation (RB Prologue, 48).

Blessings and love to you all…
- Sister Vicki

Just a Bad Dream...

The cars had teeth – real teeth. It was pouring rain and I needed to go to the monastery. There were many cars to choose from, but they all had teeth. What made it worse was that they were alive. They weren’t just lined up in the driveway waiting the turn of a key. These cars were actually writhing and snapping like alligators. I had to wrestle them apart – watching for the jaws and the swinging back end. I heard a door close and I was awake – at least I thought I was. I was so deep in sleep when I went downstairs for coffee that I woke up on the stairs with my hairbrush in my hand. Karen turned the corner to ascend, coffee mug in hand. I broke morning silence – not good – to tell her I didn’t know what I was doing on the stairs with my hairbrush. All three of us – Sister Mary in the community room trying to pray – tried not to laugh. It was a very strange beginning to the day.

Today is the feast of Saint Hildegard of Bingen – an 12th century abbess, artist, musician, poet, liturgist, mystic and all-around friend of God. A woman of great courage in the face of a Church constricted by rules, Hildegard stood her ground to safeguard love. She and her whole community paid a price for that faithfulness, but in the end, the God who called her to lead gave her justice. Mystics, in general, have a hard road. I doubt that the visions she was given compare to any bad dream, but she must have been frightened at times as she struggled to make sense of them. Her art can appear a bit frightening without explanation. I find her choice of colors earthy and beautiful. The truths contained are often less accessible to me – not unlike my own bad dreams.

It’s been six weeks since the accident. Both of my sisters are still struggling with the aftermath - physically and emotionally. When they collide, cars do have teeth. In my waking life there is greater peace and sense that "all shall be well." But in my sleep I guess I am still working out the events of August 1st and the suffering of my sisters. Although we have no control of what happens in life, I feel very responsible for the safety of the sisters I’m living with now. We are funny creatures – fearfully, wonderfully made (Psalm 139). Fortunately, God gives us the grace to live our days in faith and a place to work out our fears during the night. May Saint Hildegard intercede for us all today and guard our hearts from every fear. Please keep our sisters in your prayers.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki

Triumph of the Cross...

The readings for this feast are absolutely brilliant! On days like this I just want to hug the theologians that placed them together for our blessing. Today the Old and New Testaments are like bookends that hold the mystery of our salvation. Moses, in the first reading, raises up a staff with a bronze serpent to cure those bitten by snakes in the desert. In the gospel Jesus draws the dotted line saying: "So, too, must the Son of man be lifted up." There it is - the simple truth - the power of the cross. For the Chosen People that snake on a stick was the source of their healing. For us who believe, the death and resurrection of Christ heals us of every sin.

This morning we did shared lectio at Morning Prayer. (I just love it!) Sister Mary and Karen were both wearing red - the color for this feast. (They are such nuns!) The sharing was rich and Spirit-led. When I heard the gospel proclaimed this morning, Jesus' words felt like a command: "So, too, Son of man must be lifted up." So many have not heard the Good News. "God so loved the world that God gave the only Son...(John 3:16)." So many feel trapped by failure and weakness. What can I do today to lift him up so others might see his love and mercy? A great challenge for all who believe.

Blessings and love to you all...

- Sister Vicki