Friday, August 14, 2009

Community Retreat...


I got off to a rocky start when I returned to the monastery for our retreat days. [August 3-7] I arrived Monday morning at 8:15 so that there would be time for coffee and conversation with the “Breakfast Club “before Morning Prayer. I bounded into Sister Veronica’s office ready to hug on her when I discovered that the great silence had already begun! Here I was - pounding on her office and greeting her with great gust0 - and I was already breaking the law. How could I have forgotten that silence begins with the sunrise? I’ve made 8 community retreats – eight! I was incredulous. I felt a stranger in my own house – NOT the best beginning.

As I made my way to Chapel, I walked past several sisters who smiled or waved at me. My sense of failure was still with me, though. I was so looking forward to coming home – a whole week just to be with my sisters. My mood just went downhill as I started to consider exactly how much I’ve missed in the last two years. I come home from mission for meetings, Chapter, vocation programs, special community events. When I’m home, I’m either engaged in community business or working. What I miss, more than anything, is the day-to-day stuff – the buzz of the breakfast table, the casual sharing that happens in the mail room, the joy of doing dishes, (a task that has a definite beginning, middle and an end,) the procession to Chapel at the Hours and the chat that happens during the TV commercials in the evening. What dawned on me, in the midst of my initial gloom, was the idea that I didn’t know my sisters anymore.

Funny, isn’t it, how one little mistake can turn into an existential issue. Fortunately, things got better. The cloud started to lift at Morning Prayer when I heard my sisters sing the hymn. They didn’t just sing. They smiled and sang out with joy. “Ah,” I thought, “I know these girls.” The retreat was wonderful. Father Raymond reflected on hope and the monastic life. It was just what I needed. That’s grace…

Reality hits me sometimes. Truthfully, my monastic life is a little odd. Many Benedictines have been “on mission.” But being a Vocation Director on mission is a new spin. If you’ve worried about how much I travel, or how many places I’ve been, it’s my “normal” for now. It’s the nature of vocation ministry AND being on mission. It’s an unusual circumstance that is at once challenging and totally providential. I believe I am where I’m supposed to be. I love being at our high school and living with the sisters in Richmond. The local Church needs sisters and the moment is ripe for being more visible here – where our history as a community began. The people of Richmond are gracious and so happy to have sisters in their midst. Yes, I am missing the everyday wonder of the monastery. But I’m blessed with the ability to be where I am – and be truly happy. I think this retreat has just made me aware – again – of how much I love this community, how much I love our way of life.

Blessings and love to you all…
- Sister Vicki